Love or disaster?

What is love ? Does it lead to a relationship that last forever or does it make you feel miserable and really happy at the same time ? Sometimes I ask myself what is my relationship about, I don't even understand why I'm still fighting so hard to keep things going . It's always fighting , feeling so miserable and sad and suddenly we could make up and feel so loved like we could never be apart from each other . I always get jealous at the other couples , like how are they so perfect together and so happy ? I never asked . All I know is that I'm losing myself to the guy that might be the love of my life . Love isn't selfish , and it's supposed to be so patient and kind but despite everything that has happened I cant seem to feel the warmth I first felt from you and so much time has been lost searching for it . I keep having this question asked " How are you so patient with a guy like him ? " . The answer is I don't know , maybe because I keep thinking that everything would be better in time but it doesn't and then I try again . All we do is just keep holding on. It's funny how humans could just sacrifice everything they have and ask for nothing in return just for love , is it really worth it to have everything drained away from you ? To have me under your spell ; something I don't want to break free from , thinking that we could just leap into 'happily ever after' in each other's arms . I know what's best for me but you've put me down whenever I had the courage to ask you for it. If only you could show me that I'm really worth it, I promise I'll never let you down . Don't forget the promises you've made to me .. p.s There's so many things on my mind but I cant really touch on anything much so sorry for the short post .